1994 #24 - Warren

I went and saw Grindhouse last night with some friends, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. So when I went looking for something to talk about today, I wanted to find a magazine in my collection that had that same you-shouldn't-be-seeing-this kind of vibe. And no magazine fits that better than Warren's 1994.

1994 (first titled 1984) had originally been created a sci-fi magazine companion to Warren's other popular horror magazines; with the added Heavy Metal-esque touch of more risque subject matter. But under original editor Bill DuBay, and with (by his own admission) Jim Warren's lack of focus on his publishing empire during the 1980s, the magazine quickly became infamous for its rampant nudity, sex, misogyny, and gratutious violence, with the sci-fi elements just serving as background.

I of course wasn't aware of any of this in 1982--all I know is, when I saw this cover (by Fastner and Larson), full of sex and violence--I had to have it!

The opening story is "The Ugliest Woman in Creation!" There are no individual story credits anywhere in this issue, so based on the creators list on the table of contents, I'm betting this was written by Bill DuBay and drawn by Esteban Maroto (way more sure of the former than the latter!). The story is about a comely, topless (!) adventurer/bounty hunter named Madame Ruth, who is hired by a powerful shiek (a space sheik!) to find "the ugliest woman in the creation."

We see some of the contestants, like a woman with three heads, one with a dog's head, and a set of conjoined twins that with a male and female, in case the sheik was "having trouble deciding which way to swing." At twelve years old, I had no idea what that meant. Once I read Ruth talk about another bounty hunter, named Cain, and describe him as someone who "would f**k a woodpile in hopes there was a snake inside", I absolutely knew I should not be reading this!

Anyway, this Cain guy is hired (we first see him having sex with a woman with an ant's head(!!), and he does indeed find a truly hideous creature, although that doesn't stop him from having sex with her on the flight back. Yowza!

The ugliest woman in creation is indeed delivered, and the story ends with Cain and Madame Ruth getting it on, with the added touch of showing full-frontal female nudity. Gee, this never happened in The Brave and the Bold!

Any story following that is bound to seem low-key. And indeed, "Diana Jacklighter, Manhuntress!" is low-key--it's about our intrepid manhuntress tracking her prey to an icy, barren waste of a planet. I believe the art is by someone named Vic Cattan, who does a nice job. Nicely designed and great use of blacks and whites.

Next is "The Star Queen", which is a Tarzan-esque tale of a young girl raised by a society of ape-like creatures when she is left there as a baby. Being raised by these warriors has made her a fiece warrior, and when anoher group of would-be conquerors land on the planet, takes them on (not before we see our Queen involved in some three-way action with two of the ape-like guys). She's knocked out, kidnapped, and is almost raped by the leader, but manages to break free and kick the main guy in the store, fully nude during the whole final sequence. *Whew!*

Next is Frank Thorne's "Ghita of Alizarr" feature, which was always one of my favorites simply because I find Thorne's art to be so exquisite. Ghita is like an outer-space Red Sonja, except Ghita has sex with everything that moves, and says stuff like "I'll yet hack off your four arms and pee on you as I watch you die!", the kind of talk that might've even scared Conan.

The last story is "Coming of Age!", drawn by Alex Nino, and is basically a history of violence throughout the age of man. It's not a bad story, but a little pretentious, coming as it does on the heels of all the gleeful sex and blood-letting in the previous forty-five pages.

Top it off all with all the pages of cool Captain Company merchandise (like Superman Mego dolls, back issues of 1994 and Eerie, and a Heidi Saha poster), and you had one exciting package for a twelve-year-old. I had to make sure not to keep this issue with the rest of my comics, lest my parents see it and hit the roof. And that was probably 1994's intented reaction in the first place...